A different mindset makes all the difference in my world

Gardening this year has taken on a completely different meaning for me. The fresh vegetables bought from my local grocery store has been lacking so to speak. You can taste and feel on your lips that there is way more pesticides being used on the produce, which is why about ten years ago I stopped buying the fresh produce all together.

Growing your own vegetables can be a challenge but not impossible, unless you have barriers that can make it very difficult and most times for me heartbreaking. In February and March I usually begin my vegetable growing journey by sowing seeds into small containers, and also placing older seeds that I am uncertain will sprout on damp paper towels to see if they will germinate. That is just the beginning of the journey and the long wait for spring here in Northern Ontario Canada can and is a long one while waiting on warmer days dreaming of growing my own food.

This year after many years of losing cooler weather crops to the cabbage moth butterfly which flies non stop to each plant laying many upon many eggs which will hatch in mere days to devour your plants, stripping them down to the stems. Year after year I would rise just after the sun rose with a cup of coffee and soapy bucket of water to hand pick off the tiny lime green caterpillars from beneath the leaves knowing that no matter how many I pick off the plants there is always millions more hiding from my sight.

So, last Fall I decided to spend some money on netting and shade cloth to perhaps save these cooler loving plants. I do most of my gardening these days of my vegetables on my large deck since I can monitor the weather and cover the containers at night when it falls to 6 C just last week. Spring and summer this year as with most years is a crap shoot weather wise as it can be 37C during the day and fall to 7C at night. The warmer loving plants such as tomatoes , peppers and the like do not tolerate the colder temperatures and just die post haste if not cared for and covered.

Those are the easy aspects of my gardening year. Last year my dog passed away leaving my back yard free from her doggie scents to ward off some of the hungry critters that arrive each spring to gobble up your newly planted seedlings that you have babied for months indoors underneath grow lights so they don’t become leggy and yes plants becoming leggy is not a good thing.

If you have ever tried to outsmart a squirrel or chipmunk you will know that is a losing battle since mother nature gave her creatures the knowledge to hunt for food no matter what we as humans try and do to protect them.

Nets work well but the creatures can become entangled in them and if you care about all living things and don’t wack it over the head with a heavy object then you must get your thick gloves and scissors to cut away the nets to release the creature from its grasp. Needless to say the first time I had to do that I no longer bought those type of nets that are usually used in a high location to ward off the birds from landing on your fruit.

Cages are wonderful except when built to keep the critters out also means it will keep the gardener out as well. A cage with a door will never work against a chipmunk as their bodies are like mice and can magically squeeze through tight spaces. Also they will dig from under the ground and rise up right in the middle of your caged area, unless you add wire on the ground and set your newly built grow wooden box on top. But just to be on the safe side I used a double layer of wire on the bottom, then a layer of cardboard, a layer of branches , limbs, twigs, leaves, compost all before the beloved seedlings are place inside the box which was and is surrounded by four feet high wire and topped with wire.

I have peppers and tomatoes planted in there out in the yard having to defend themselves since my job was done to the best of my ability.

Usually the back yard garden consists of flowers of all types that come back year after year. Those I love…. No work needed after planted except for dividing them every few years.

I have a permaculture bed in the yard as well that was built back in 2015 after a birch tree needed to be taken down as it was then just a woodpecker hotel with many holes adorning the massive trunk of the tree that was threatening to fall any day. My heart sank on the day it had to come down but I knew I would be putting to to good use in making a permaculture bed out of its remains.

Over the years other trees on my property needed branches trimming back or other trees losing their branches into my yard. So I began the back fence branch society so to speak. Resting the bigger hardwood evergreen branches upright so as not to rot laying on the ground. As it turned out it made the height of my back fence go from 4 feet tall to double that height, which helped when a mother bear and her three baby cubs wandered into the back area just beyond my back fence.

My pup was alive at that time and outside barking her fool head off at the bear with her bear paws resting on the back fence growling at my dog who was barking like the world would end any moment, and I up on my deck yelling at my dog to come to me. Hoping the bear would not risk going through the tall branches that were merely leaning on the fence. Thankfully, she climbed the tree along with here cubs just 2 feet behind my fence. If the cubs fell into my yard the mother bear would have followed I am certain.

Luckily, my dog finally came to me as the police and wildlife officer arrived back there to retrieve the bears in different sized cages to transport back into the wild . There is a small brook behind my house down the way and that summer had been drought worthy indeed, and the bears were thirsty I would imagine and got turned around trying to leave between houses. Black bears are common as the bear hunts have been cancelled and the bear population has been on the rise knowing there is food in the neighborhoods for the taking. I digress and for that I don’t apologize for since the bear scare of my life was worth it in the telling.

After all of these barriers that every year try and stop me I pondered over why I never just gave up trying to garden when some years there was little to show for it. I realized that if I quit and gave up that would mean that I was not being the person I knew myself to be. I actually enjoy the challenges of the spring and summer garden. I enjoy trying new ways to protect the garden and the bug netting I purchased last Fall is working amazingly well and I can tell you there has been stir fry being made in my tiny kitchen and also bowls of ramen noodles with freshly harvested pak choy added from the garden. The caged yard box in the back yard is working wonderfully and the tomato plant has grew to the top of the cage, soon there will be tomatoes for me to enjoy.

Nothing in this life I have learned over these 6 decades comes easy because if it did come to me easily I would not enjoy the harvest for its taste and my determination to have some of it come to harvest and the rest that either gets eaten by the squirrels , chipmunks, bird, and slugs ~ Well my growing my own food outside on their land , their stomping grounds, their habitat ~ It’s only nature and Natural that they feel I’ve gone and set the dinner table for T H E M… Rightly so I suppose when you really think about it.

So I’ve added a new level to my gardening this year and it’s a trail Camera for which to capture images of the critters as they dig up the popping corn I planted for them as a distraction so they may or might leave the rest for me to eat. Oh how they love the corn stalks, tender and sweet.

Excuse my French, but what in the bloody hell is going on?

I’m certain I will toss and turn typing this title into my newest blog post, but it must be done and even more so be done.

I’m an old Fart as my late husband use to call himself when he was a tender young lad of 46 before he passed. What in the Hell !

Today I am 63 going on 64, feeling like 94 with each rain drop that is falling this spring so far. What the Hell?

Now to be honest and I actually dislike when folks repeat that saying, “To Be Honest”. Well if you’re being honest in the first place and live an honest life there is no need to announce that at this point in time you’re going to turn over a new leaf and become honest in a statement that is to follow. Right?

Actually this is the first time I’ve used to be honest, either saying it out loud or typing it here. Feels sort of cheesy and also it feels like I’m being dis-honest by announcing it. Weird I know but to know me is to love me .. wink…

I began making videos on YouTube in 2015. Not knowing what I was doing but sometimes paddling out into the deepest of waters where the sharks live just waiting for tadpoles to swim by can be exciting. I can almost have read their minds, “Hum…Tasty treat has arrived.”

So, I dodged the dangers of sharks in the giant ocean of other YouTubers trying to put out videos in hopes that someday they would attract attention like a bee to honey. Well, I sailed along until 2019 when the platform stirred the pot big time and were laying down the law so to speak, YouTube was no longer the Wild Wild West any longer and the sheriff rode into town to clean up the ones who were upsetting the advertisers or whom ever was upset. (It had something to do with children content) What the hell!

So, being a little channel with just over 1, 500 subscribers at the time I got a bit worried since my channel consisted of animated story lines that I was have fun creating. You see even old dogs can learn new tricks and with the help of my son the graphic designer he guided me on how to use a computer drawing tablet and off I went as happy as a pig who had just found a water hole for which to roll over and over again.

So I created a few story lines and did the weekly drawing on the tablet which to most folks looked like a cartoon of my story.

My favorite of all the panels for my story, memories of Iowa and my great-grand-mother

Those are just a few of the art work I was creating for my story line and I narrated each Friday because it took many many hours and 6 full days to get each panel just right for my story and remember I was a new comer to this type of digital art. I learned with pencil and paper, moving on to paint, and oils back in the day. But, I must say I adored the time and hours spent creating like this and my son was proud of me for picking it up so quickly. All was good there on YouTube for a brief time it felt like. My channel was never going to be huge and lots and lots of followers which at times made me a bit sad .. But , I really did not have the trolls as they called them coming to my channel because I was that tree in the forest of many. Trolls to me were those fat belly dolls with the colorful hair that lived underneath bridges.

I use to play with them when a child myself, and so did my daughter many years later. Funny how some old things are new again. I most times wish I were too. Especially when my knees hurt or the gout attack I experience after eating a few spears of Asparagus that I grow out in my garden but can no longer eat without my body turning on me. F.Y.I if your curious about what causes gout , for me it is Seafood, Beef, Turkey, and the glorious Asparagus. There are other things as well but you would have to research that on your own or ask your doctor.

I digress again as per usual. I get on here with you readers of my little blog and I feel as if you are sitting right here with me and either rolling your eyes at me and my ponderings or laughing along with me. If, there is a point where I actually laugh out loud while typing on here I hope I can cause a huge ripple effect for you to giggle too because What the Hell we all need it right now.

So long story even longer I deleted my YouTube channel in 2019 and hid behind my woes feeling I’d made a big mistake, since after a few days I sorely missed the interactions I had with my subscribers who were mostly at the time view for view but heck and good golly miss molly I didn’t care because I typed and typed to them back in the comment section when they would comment on one of my videos. I loved every key click of my keyboard and smiled in pure bliss.

You see even the most simple and mundane appearing actions one can preform can and does give you joy which I’ve found grows into a sense of happiness. How many of us take our entire lives looking for that blue bird of happiness when it was right there inside of you all the while. Waiting for you to see.

So go ahead and be brave even if you want to cause a young neighbor child to laugh with a big blue bowl atop your head. Smile like you’ve never been happier and the ripple action will begin and you’re on your way to bliss. No fooling ~give it a try…

So shortly after deleting my original YouTube Channel I made a brand new one. Realizing I’d never get back my original subscribers and yet again I was back at ground zero wondering off and on since then why am I doing this. I threatened to quit many times when my videos which I worked very hard on never got off the ground. Actually, I knew it’s a young persons world. In my sixties I’m not going to be out front of the camera and my channel would have to exist with me being the director behind the camera trying my best to create something of purpose.

I suppose I figured I’m too old to show off what gravity does to a aging body. Gravity did nothing to my mind and I most times still feel young at heart although with age comes experience and hopefully wisdom. I’m still waiting on wisdom to arrive but I’m at peace with the experience gathered over these 6 decades. Now if you’ve read down this far and you are not ready to pour a nice big glass of wine and go to bed then here is the sole reason for this blog post.

Two days ago I made a little sort of funny video about the critter out in my yard waiting for me to take out all of my seedlings that are waiting for warmer temps here in Ontario Canada. So, they bide their time (chipmunks) looking inside of my patio door just sitting there waiting, wondering when their bounty of seedlings are coming out. I giggle at them and yes I still giggle like a school child even in my sixties. “Not until mid June little buddy I say out loud.”

So the other day I was weeding a part of the garden watching the wee chipmunk watching me from the fence. He or she would scurry along a little and poke its head back at me. This went on for a few minutes and I wondered if it was checking on if I was sowing any seeds they could dig up as soon as I’ve left the garden. This is the reason for seedlings, better chance to save them. Anyway I went to stand straight again after being bent over with the weeds when something flew by my head only inches away from me and it was the darn critter.

After being startled for a second, a natural born YouTuber will proclaim, “That’s a Video”

So I came indoors and made a little wee video and used some of my digital talents I’ve gathered over the past few years and created the video. Now let me tell you I rarely get over 20 views on most of my videos, except for a chosen few that have done well. But, this Critter video has 462 views in two days. What the Bloody Hell is going On ! !

But the day before I made that critter video and the chipmunk thinking it was a good idea to try and do a Olympic landing on the top of my head I was done with YouTube even if I didn’t know what I was going to fill my days with when my knees were hurting and I could get out there to garden yet. How on earth would I cope with the state of affairs of the world without my own YouTube Channel to be a daily distraction keeping me sane. What I ask.. ?

Well, something guided me back before I deleted my channel for the second time, weather it was a grand kick of the backside from above or perhaps they sent the critter to land on my head, but whatever stopped me in my tracks I 100% felt I was to not suppose delete the channel. And then the last video I created blew up well for my stats anyway. I’ve laughed for two days watching it grow and grow. So if you’re bored and need something different to watch over there, (not so shameless plug since I’ve only 121 subscribers at this point in time and I’ve got the welcome mat out just for you all here, since you feel like family.

Hugs and kisses across the world wide web, virtual that is..

Majestic Beauty of Frozen Toes

Living here you know just what you are made of…

I dreamed for a moment that the snow and freezing temps would stall for a while longer as we travelled into December where the days are getting shorter and shorter until such time where it will be total darkness at 4 o’clock in the evening.

It’s funny to me when I think of why my stomach is surprisingly hungry at this early hour when just a month and a half ago it wasn’t until around 6ish in the evening. I’m amazed that at 6 in the evening my body clock is swaying me to find my pillow for the night, since I’d consumed dinner at 4:30.

All this is funny and strange to me all at the same time. But, and yes with me there is always a but… I remind myself that I’d already moved tons of heavy snow from my front porch, and continued to move the snow from the driveway so the postman and or woman can access my mailbox that is affixed to my front wall next to my front door. If, the path is not clear and safe for them they will NOT give you those annoying flyers that wind up in my recycle bin blue box. Most bills these days are all done via the internet highway. That alone boggles my brain at times just like when I would call someone across the globe and ponder on just how that was possible. {when younger of course}

I’ve graduated to just pondering these things in private so as not to appear completely without a working brain to understand such things. But, to know me is to know that ever since I began thinking as a child I always pondered over just how things actually worked. Most take it for granted back in the day of rotary telephones ~ you poke a finger into the hole with the letters and numbers and watch it spin around until the next number needed to be spun to carry on with dialing the proper amount of numbers to arrive at the ringing sound in the handset your were holding. The cute curl of the plastic from the handset to the box rotary phone was a delight even if it always and I mean always became tangled to where your face was next to the rotary phone box unless you were smarter that a fifth grader and untangled it before making the call.

I pondered over just how the person on the other end of the phone could actually hear you talking to them. Grandpa would tell me technology and Mr. Bells Magic made it possible. Well for most that might just suffice as an answer to my ponderings, but oh NO it did not serve me well enough. So, I unscrewed the bottom of the handset and noticed that there was a small round metal piece inside of there with tiny holes on the top. Hum… This must be how they can hear you I pondered. Needless to say I proved myself correct when my pretty pink princess telephone was taken away as a punishment for 2 days. Well not completely removed. Grandpa removed the speaker part out of the phone for the person (My boyfriend in Hawaii) could not hear me. Grandpa never said I could not talk with this boy (man of 19) Until this very moment. I suppose it would have been better to tell him I’d met a Military man who was posted to Hawaii for 2 years. Myself being only 16… Oh what kids will do…

So after educating myself on how this rotary phone operated I went on the safari hunt into my grandfathers bedroom (of course after he left the house to go grocery shopping for my grandmother) . I opened the top drawer of his tall dresser (which lovingly I use to this day) and found the shiny round metal bit with tiny holes on the top. Amazing what you can find on a safari when alone in the jungle of your grandfathers bedroom. I replaced the part to my phone and waited for my boyfriend to call. Talked for less that a minute just to tell him to call back in two days as my phone should be back to normal.

I returned the handset metal piece to my grandfathers dresser and grinned because I knew that one day I shall tell grandpa of my safari and how my ponderings figured out how to solve this problem. And, also could I please talk with the boyfriend in Hawaii.

No to talking with the boyfriend as I was too young and good for me for figuring out the phone and his very tactic to keep me from it he thought. He shook his head up and down proclaiming that I’d be alright living in the safari or out in the real world because I ponder and not just take life for granted.

Oddly, enough Grandpa and I talked all the time and I was indeed his forever shadow and he is now my spirit shadow always with me on my own travels. He use to tell me of his own ponderings about wanting to live up in Canada where the fishing is grand and is full of the most beautiful trees. I agreed as I loved to fish with him since a wee one and my love of trees must have begun since birth.

I married a Military Air Force man from Canada and moved to this beautiful country many moons ago. I live in a place my grandfather always dreamed about. His dream came true by way of me his granddaughter. Who lost her husband after only a mere 15 years of marriage. He suffered a sudden heart attack at the tender age of only 46. I remain here (Grandpa)

Grandpa don’t fail me now was and still is my mantra most days and I always feel his spirit shadow along side of me just like before. So with the frozen toes upon removing my winter boots after shoveling the snow on a very cold winters day I smile at the thought of pondering and never taking life for granted because as with my loving husbands life was to be taken away without warning. Cherish each and every moment even in the bad times because living through bad times as well as good times means one thing… Living

I’ll probably never live again in Florida where my grandpa and I went fishing or I went swimming with the many dolphins in the Gulf of Mexico so many decades ago, I ponder over those childhood dreams and did they include frozen toes?

My Christmas Elf returns this year….

Just after being sick with a cold for over a month, my Christmas Elf returned this year to help me out in the kitchen to prepare Gluten Free Pie crusts for the mini Apple pies I’m making for my son. Due to terrible skin allergies he has had to give up all gluten.. Please enjoy this bit of whimsy for your post Christmas Day…..

 

And, if you have a few moments to spare, join my beautiful daughter and I in the kitchen to whip up some tasty treats..

 

Thanking you all kindly for spending some holiday time with my family, Hugs….

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Vlog Of Sorts – Dec. 8th 2017

I’m still under the weather as far as the head cold goes, but Winter waits for no one when it comes to having to bring out the snowblower and snow shovels. Friday was a snow storm to prove Mother Nature is boss, no matter how much we as humans think we are. Enjoy these two short videos to see for yourself. Hugs from me to you

Part One…..

 

Part Two…

 

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There is another sky ~ Emily Dickinson

There is another sky,

Ever serene and fair,

And there is another sunshine,

Though it be darkness there;

Never mind faded forests, Austin,

Never mind silent fields-

Here is a little forest,

Whose leaf is ever green;

Here is a brighter garden,

In its unfading flowers

I hear the bright bee hum;

Prithee, my brother,

Into my garden come!

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~A Brand New Day That Can Never Be Repeated ~

What a glorious day October 1st 2016 was with its clouds overhead forecasting the rain that was coming our way. I was just a mere 30 minutes away from another sunrise announcing this to be a brand new month, followed by light rain for the evening and following day.

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The panorama view of the city and the lake where I live was an interesting view for me this morning. While, at the far left of this picture, just atop one of the cities buildings I could see the pink in the sky just beginning to crest.

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Looking up at the clouds as the sky began to lighten, it was like no other. I was by the lake where I’d often go trying to figure out how to be a widow in those early days. I’d buy a coffee at our favorite shop and drive by the lake just to ponder my life. I knew I needed time to figure out my newly given path that I must follow, no matter what my views on it were at the time.

They say disbelief is the first emotion you go through, but I was spared that as I was by his side the entire time from beginning to end. The next emotion was to be anger, but how could I be angry after being given 15 wonderful years as a wife and received the up most gift of two children from this union. The lake here in this picture is my compass, showing me that there are many directions one can choose to take.

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I’ve had another loss 5 months ago, losing my older sister to suicide. This is so hard to even begin to put into words as there are so many jumbled up emotions inside of this aging body of mine. As I sit here today 30 minutes away from the next sunrise on this day, October 2nd ~ I hold on to my inner compass even if I never plan to actually travel anywhere.

I am content to work very hard at healing my heart from the many losses I’ve experienced, beginning with my grandfather back in nineteen-hundred-seventy-eight. He taught me something amazing, and yet it contained few words to explain…His actions, caused reactions, which caused thought, leading to understanding of how to just take time to ponder over any situation…

So, yesterday morning I sat sipping my coffee, smiling at the many joyous times spent with my late husband and the conversations I’d had with my older sister over the internet ~ via Face Book, messaging and Skype.  She lived in Los Angeles, California where I too was born many moons ago. But, even though we were separated by 2,711 miles from her place to mine, we were as close as if we were right next door to each other…

She often would say how she enjoyed reading about my antics here on Word Press, and for that simple fact I am very thank full to this blog for allowing me the escape to jot down on here my thoughts and pictures I love to take. She was amazed by my garden of hope as I call it and I’m sure she wished she too could have a little space where she could just clear away clutter of each of our days.

Sometimes, there is just too much noise around us, and we need moments just to sit, quietly and watch a sunrise or sunset in peace.

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Until next time

~Laura~

 

 

A sunrise like no other…

I’ve been up long before the sun rises on each day for weeks now. This odd occurrence began just after I wrote a post about never being able to catch the sunrise on each new day. Strangely enough I never miss a sunset, as the naps have not commenced for me as of yet. But, I’m certain they shall given the passing of time that falls on all of us at one point or another.

My pup is quite confused by each of my early morning adventures sitting on a bench just outside my patio door. She saunters, slowly down the deck stairs, taking one landing after the other ~ I have three…

The gentleman who built my deck worked very hard the first year I was in my home, making sure that I would be content with this deck as I aged. He knew that I had a joy for gardening and would be making compost bins in the yard and perhaps growing on the upper deck. So, each landing after a few stairs works beautifully for me, resting on each or setting pots on them.

I remembered we sat at the kitchen table as he asked a number of questions about the plans I had for the back yard, I was not sure as to why actually until I hit my fifties. Now I know the rest of the story…His reasons for so many questions. He was thinking ahead, way ahead.. by almost 20 years…Now, that’s a fine man and woodworker…

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September 12th 2016

This was the morning that I realized why this man put in so much effort when building my patio deck with extra wide stairs, in case I needed to pull my wheelbarrow up to the upper portion of the deck, which I have many times with ease as each step is doubled in size as well. Giving me firm and steady footing when doing this as I approach 60 years old ~ (Young)

He planned this deck for me and the years ahead when I’d no longer be working 12-14 hours days to provide for my two children. Even with my bad knees I can have a chair on those bad days just to sit on the lower levels, if I need it. I am so thankful to this wonderful woodworker who also became a good friend.  Friends do often come and go, but the memories will last a lifetime and for that I am truly grateful for friends such as yourself reading this post and another amazing SUNRISE…

And, my pup has been enjoying many naps during these past weeks, since I’ve been up so early so has she… My little pup is snoozing right now as I type this post.. Sweet dreams Lil pup….

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Until next time

~Laura~