Why am I feeling invisible these days?

I usually air on a level playing field. Meaning if I can’t say something that brings hope, smiles, or just plain giggles I tend to not air my thoughts out onto the field, meaning yet again out to the world as we know it.

I’m aware that my little tiny spot here on the internet will probably look more like that tree in the forest ~ you all know that tree, right? It’s the one that finally gave up due to age, or insect damage, woodpeckers, etc. It’s that tree that needed to fall onto the forest floor to compost and give back to the earth.

This tree that is no longer living is indeed living and giving life back. Just because this tree became old and needed to make way for the younger, stronger trees in the forest does not in any way make light of its importance to the planet. Or, merely to the forest for which it sprouted as a miniature speck of a seedling with a path to follow for the length of time the tree would be present.

Why then am I feeling invisible these days? as the title states and I’ve gone off talking about trees growing old, and returning to the forest floor to give life back to the soil it took its nourishment from for many years, hopeful decades. At least I hope it was many years ~ life span for that tree.

My thoughts ache due to losing my beloved pet of 19 human years on the 13th of July 2020. She will forever live in a special place among my thoughts ~ A place where only she resides. Just like the many other beloved pups that came into my life, mostly rescue animals in need of human love that goes beyond just walking and feeding them. Each of them have their own special place within my thoughts.

All of my pups spoke to me though their eyes and movements as my silent chatter to them followed the same routes. Of course I spoke with them, often more in conversation than with actual humans. As most of my time was spent with the pups on average ~ given a 24 hour day. I always knew that I was never really alone, or felt invisible. Until, now…

Right now I’m faced with the knowledge that I shall not own another pup. Mia was the last for me. I’ve had to accept many things in this life time so far, which spans like an old oak tree, many decades. I say oak tree because it is a hard wood , yet can be milled and turned into something magical and can last beyond the owners years. A piece of furniture made from Oak wood can be handed down to generations of family members or it can find a truly new home to become cherished.

I wonder if people think about where the wood came from that made that lovely piece of furniture or bowl for cooking, mixing, eating, etc? Probably not…I’m a strange bird some might say. I ponder over these things as they bring me joy, and moments of peaceful, tranquil thoughts. These are the things that I’ve accepted that I need to have so I can continue to live a full and happy life.

Happiness is different for each of us I think. For me it’s trees because ever since I was a seedling (so to speak) child growing up with my grandparents I’ve gazed upward at the tall pines of Florida where I grew up before moving to Canada in aw and wonderment. It appeared to me as a child they each reached for the sky as the warmth of the sun shown down on them. The slightest whiff of a breeze would cause the tops of the pines to sway back and fourth in what through my young eyes was merely the winds being the instruments for the trees musical song just for me. The trees danced with joy and happiness and I was lucky enough to be there to witness the concert.

Those days have long since melted away and became a somewhat mass of who I was to become decades later. Strong like oak, yet bendable like pines when the winds blew. Purposeful, and yet not overbearing to be seen or heard. Reaching for the sky where the fluffy clouds drifted overhead. I use to wonder what the very tops of those tall pines, if they could think ~ what did they think of the fluffy clouds appearing to be enjoying the concert as well as I? Coming from below them.

Over the years those pines growing in Florida have had to weather many storms and brutal hurricanes and if they were destined to survive oh my what a story they could tell, if only they could speak to us. Many of the pines didn’t survive the storms and the brutally of the winds. They bend as much as they can, but over time they become weak in places where the rings of time were once tight and strong.

Sort of like me with bad knees wanting to just give it up, but they continue to carry me and allow me to preform the duties that need to be done out in my little garden of Hope. I will not always feel as invisible as I do right now, while I walk the path through grief of my pup and world events.

I shall rally back with yet again memories of my pup knowing what I am thinking and giving me the puppy shoulder to take solace. I shall become whole again and not feel as if everyone if they looked could see right through me and not see me at all.

If nothing else I shall garden as it gives me hope, and not just for the harvest. I’m tending to life and it will eventually give back to me. Let’s be safe, tend to our lives as best each of us can no matter what belief we have ~ after all each belief belongs to each of us that breaths. You don’t need to believe in the peace I find from the trees around me, to enjoy moments spent here reading my thoughts.

I suppose I’ll continue to respect my life and all others ~ Creations included

Rain was the forecast, but…

August 6th 2016 - 008

Not a single drop to be felt upon this face…

I’m going to stop hoping for rain, because it appears to be jinxing the weather forecaster. We need rain in the worst way and not just a sprinkling from the heavens, but rather an all day steady rain ~ Not Downpour… just a gentle rain would do just fine… So, with this order I’ve been hoping for has not transpired ~ I’m hoping for no rain ~ whats so ever!

Perhaps, that will work.. ~spoken in a whisper~

Tell them what you want and maybe the opposite might happen…

Boy oh boy did I become excited Saturday evening when this above picture was taken. The dinner dishes were done and put away, so I sat on my garden bench waiting for the skies to open up and fill my empty rain barrels.. Nope, Nadda, Nothing happened.. Just dark clouds with a ray of sun peaking through them…

Alright, I must admit the streaming rays coming through the clouds was a beautiful sight to behold… I just wish I knew what setting to put my camera on to try and get a better picture…It was truly amazing, and I almost expected to her a choir singing at any time…

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August 8th 2016 - 007 - Plants needing water

These plants are surviving so far with the aid of my rinse water I save every evening to use on the driest of plants. The permaculture beds are still preforming wonderfully… I must say I have given my tomatoes plants out there a little sprinkling just to aid in their growth during this drought.

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And, of course my pup must examine my progress…

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The wood in front of my lawn mower shed is breaking down… I think she wanted to bring this to my attention…



Until next time


How do you measure “Strength”

August 6th 2016 - 009

If only I had the same strength as this web….

This morning I was sitting out on my deck waiting for the sun to rise on this beautiful day. When I looked over to where my b.b.q sits and I noticed something magical in the sunlight that was just right for my eyes to focus on this spider web..

It always amazes me when I step outside each morning to be greeted with yet another spider web and wonder where is that spider who constructed this amazing feat just overnight…

Don’t you sleep you little spider? I wonder…

Usually there are webs going across the steps leading down into my garden and I take an old broom to cut through them so I don’t wind up with a face full of webs and probably spill my hot coffee all over me… I don’t mind these critters doing this, but rather not have them directly in my face….


As I sat on the bench I wondered why they don’t just build them elsewhere…instead of in the very same location every day… My pup waits for me and is accustomed to my morning routines of clearing away spider webs with the broom in one hand and the coffee cup in the other… Then I begin to water the plants that are in containers and check on my newly planted second sowing of radishes…She patiently waits as I take one step at a time, waving this old tattered broom in the air ~ breaking the web lines along my path.. she also takes one step at a time following along with me.

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She knows me so well, and this minor detail always amazes me. I’ve always been a dog owner for as long as I can remember… Probably since I was four years old and I’ve never been very long without a four legged companion. I tend to adopt rescue dogs that have been abused or in need of health interventions… The pup before the one I own right now needed over 5 thousand dollars worth of vet interventions before all was said and done..

At the time I had the money to spend and this pup was a so called free to a good home dog.. She was already grown when I first laid eyes on her. The owner went out in their backyard to retrieve her and brought her to where I was standing just inside of their home..

This animal looked so sad walking through the room, until our eyes met … She hurried over to me and sat to my left,. resting her side against my leg… The owner said it was odd for her to behave in this manner, because she was always kept outside tied up and never really was around other people ~ except for the family members..

I said I’d take her and with my hand lightly on the top of her head I bent down to ask her if she wanted to go with me?  She licked my cheek looking into my eyes as much to say, “Get me the hell outta of here, please.” And, so I did just that.. She had been abused the vet said and was probably chained up with a thick chain that she tried to bite through to get away.. She needed dental and 4 operations and many other visits to the vet over the next two years..


Why would I want to go through this and spend that amount of money when it comes to me in small amounts and is very dear to my survival and at the time my young children… Well…it’s simple ~ The dog had a heart of gold and I just had to give her the next seven years a life of love, companionship, courage, and above all time spent with a family who respects their animals…

She helped me in more ways than one after my husband passed away from a sudden heart attack at the young age of 46… Perhaps, my heart was so broken over this loss that I’d do anything to bring happiness to people around me and to a pet.. Perhaps, this was a moment in time that was meant to be, and this dog showed me how to survive and become a stronger person in the long run.. If, she could rally with all of the vet interventions and still remain a dog with a heart of gold.. I could be strong enough to give this beautiful animal the life she was suppose to have from the very beginning…

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In loving memory of a pup with a golden heart

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Until next time

Love your family & pets


Asparagus Anyone?

July 22nd 2016 - 001

Table for four you say…you might have to wait another two years for a nice steamed plate of amazing asparagus…

This little patch was started only this year, and as we all know it takes a good three years before you can harvest the spears. I have a handy little bamboo steamer that sits proudly atop my stir-fry pan just waiting for the proper time. In the meantime many stir-fry’s will take place in anticipation for the glorious day I can harvest the tender asparagus spears…

I actually got a late start to planting out this little patch, but the first patch planted last year didn’t do so well.. not enough light I’m afraid was the problem, so I planted my peas in front of the asparagus plants that took a magnifying glass to find the ferns. Oh well live and learn that’s what I say..

I really love this vegetable so much and thought it would be fun trying to grow them in my own garden. On a side note a person who has tendencies toward gout should not eat those tender spears of goodness. Hum…Perhaps, I’ll throw caution to the wind and sample just a few.. It will be fun just watching it grow very tall next year anyway.. Still a happy gardener just the same…

I’ll just drink my homemade Turmeric Tea, before I partake in a plate of those spears..

It helps clear up the gout.. tried and tested to work for me..

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Until next time

My pup and I wish a mild sunny day ahead for you all

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Woof, woof…

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How do you view each day?

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Have you ever found a store receipt in the void that is the bottom of your handbag or tucked away between the sections of a wallet? Let’s say its been hiding in there for months and when you go to clean out your mode of storing those store and bank cards do you merely find a number of blank looking pieces of paper that was once your only proof of a purchase?

The type of paper the stores are using is completely different from a few decades ago. We could keep a receipt for years, before it began to fade and that was only if we handled the paper often.. Hum… why would we do that, well sometimes we might…. 🙂

I love taking pictures with my digital camera and find the ease of putting the pictures of the day on the computer and either sizing them down to add into this blog so I don’t run out of free space on here too quickly. This action really got me to thinking and I must say at times too much thinking can get me into trouble…

Pictures, we take them with such love and pride in our work. Only to store them away on itty bitty thumb drives or in a carefully labeled folders on our machines of choice. What happens to all of those pictures we take and hope to share one day with friends like you all here on WordPress or with family members?

Clarity, I suppose is in the eye of the beholder as I sit in my garden looking around at the beauty that has been there since spring. From the honeysuckle bush void of all leaves after the long winter months. I see it begin to bud and I know in a very short time it will be full of leaves followed by lovely sweet smelling flowers….I sometimes bring the pictures into my Photo-shop program and play around with the color, because my little digital camera does not show me what I see when taking shots of the flowers. I enhance some of the photos not to deceive you with some of the photographs, but merely to try and enhance their beauty as I see them through my own eyes.

Storage, I have boxes of photograph albums with real pictures that are printed out on special photo paper that I would have developed and wait a week to see if any of my photos were any good. My old Minolta camera that used film took some really nice pictures. It was not a point and shoot camera like I have now with my digital camera with its hand steady function…(I love that function with my sometimes wobbly hands)

I wonder about all of the pictures I’ve taken that are stored on thumb drives or in my computers folders, since I’ve owned so many different computers and they crash and die after a given amount of time. If, you haven’t saved your treasures on something like (old school days, Floppy disks) C.D. or thumb drives, external hard drives, the list is endless they are lost forever only to remain in our memories, until such time they too fade away like those store receipts….

Store receipts, that I get and I really need to save ~ Let’s say after buying a new computer, or laptop, I-Pad, etc.. I scan those into my printer and save with the paperwork of said purchases so they too won’t fade away just before the warranty has ended for a replacement of said purchases is needed.. I’ve actually had that happen to me and they would not replace said machine without the receipt, and I can’t blame them..

Photographs,  if lost to a corrupted thumb drive, external hard drive, or C.D. that only last for about ten years.. will be gone forever too…as my son has always reminded me to back up anything that I don’t want to disappear .. Especially, the illustrations I’ve been working on for one of my short stories. After each panel is completed I save it to a thumb drive, and then over to a C.D. as it would be a complete shame to go to use them and they will not work….

How do you view each day?

I’d like to think I see the beauty that is around me and the possibilities for enhancement that I can then offer to you. I also see a black and white version of most things, trying to find clarity in my life, minus the distractions of my day…

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Until next time

My pup and I wish you a peaceful Sunday

July 24th 2016 - 008

Woof, woof

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Nighthawk Stealth & the Fly

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Nighthawk Stealth of the Bug World

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Airplane picture courtesy of:  https://storiesbywilliams.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/f117-nighthawk.jpg

I was outside this early morning sitting in my garden with my cup of coffee just minding my own business looking around at all of the plants and bugs flying around. I didn’t notice this little black fly resting on top of this flower head.

But, after returning inside I took the picture off of the camera and into my trusty computer. There it was as proud as can be sitting as still as a mouse… Caught on digital camera for all of time, because as we all know these creatures don’t have a long existence.

I had to smile at this picture as it reminded me of the Military base we live on for eleven years. It was a Canadian Air Force Base where on any given day you could see planes of all types zooming across the sky. It was an amazing time spent on this base where it was a pleasure to live and begin raising our two children.

The base was also located along side of the airport for our town, and with the long runway here we would get to see the very large planes that glide through the skies.

Hercules on beige border

What an amazing time that part of my life was with all of the Canadian Military men and women who flew over the rooftops of our houses on the base. Now that I live off the base after my husband passed away I still get to see those planes flying around in the skies over my house in town. I am proud to have been a part of the Military base as the wife of a Canadian Air Force man who served this beautiful country of Canada so proudly, with honor and pride to wear the uniform.

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While writing this post for tomorrow’s blog I heard a loud rumble outside. Upon heading outside my pup scooted right in front of me to get through the door first, as always…Where ever I go so does she, and this is what I captured through the digital lens.

Thunder in the sky

Will the sun still shine, or will it rain?

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Until next time

My pup & I wish a marvelous day and evening for you all…

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Woof, woof…

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Heirloom Red Cored Chantenay Carrots

July 20th 2016 - 010

Last year I planted a few Heirloom Red Cored Chantenay Carrots from a seed packet I bought in one of my local shops. The carrots grew nicely, until the chipmunk found a delightful game gathering up most of the seeds I planted. I could see his or her impressions in the planter where they sat and filled their little cheeks to the brim…I even caught one of them in action one early morning when I went out before my pup..

I ate three whole carrots last year ~ Yes that is all the little critter left for me in the garden.. This year my carrots are planted in my 5th permaculture bed with plastic fencing and netting all around.. I suppose they could just crawl underneath the twigs of the bed and get to the vegetables, but so far they have left that bed alone.. Whew….

Above is a picture of a carrot that began growing in my 1st permaculture bed this early spring. I noticed something popping up very early and then we had frost and even a cover of snow in May…Since, I’ve read that some seeds like a deep freeze (like your indoor freezer for a short time ~ I think it said 2 hours… So, I didn’t worry about the carrot seeds I planted before the last frost this year inside my 5th bed.. But, back to the above picture….

I read that carrots will grow one year and not flower until the second year. Hum.. I didn’t know that, since most of my things tend to bolt long before it’s time and I’m out there picking off the flower heads from my dill and cilantro this summer.. The second year the carrots will develop a nice flower head like you see in the picture above.

Now this is where my reading got very interesting.. to get the seeds you need two different plant types…. A nice fat round one and a nice slender brightly colored orange one. The article got very scientific on me, but I gathered it’s something like my zucchini last year, a male flower and a female flower to arrive down the road to a nice looking vegetable for steaming… These flower heads are similar to that if I understood the process correctly.. I forgot to save the link to where I was reading up, but found another one for you to check out if you’re interested…

Learn About Saving Carrot Seeds

From this link I found that I might actually get some seeds from this plant as it’s not a hybrid but rather mine are the heirloom… This is the second year and with the many days with chill in the air this year it was or appears to be the perfect combination for my plant to turn into this below…

Dried Carrot flower head

Courtesy of: http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/photos/seedheadlge.jpg

After it dries out like the above picture the head will prepare to scatter the seeds into the wind. If it’s dry the flower head will lean over so as to spread the seeds, and if it’s wet the head will stay upright and appear closed.. I found that simple act of the carrot so interesting, because it’s the road toward survival. I had to giggle at this as I was reading the information on the internet today. I’d never thought about the lovely orange carrot to this degree ~ only what was I going to steam in my bamboo steamer tonight and carrots are usually in the mix of vegetables as I just love them.

I visited a fellow blogger the other day, and they had beautiful pictures of Queen Anne’s Lace. Which is actually a wild variety of carrot. I researched this as it looked just like my flower head on my carrot growing in the now named, Carrot Patch….


Courtesy of:   http://www.designsponge.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/queenanneslace_designsponge.jpg

I’m excited to see what my carrot flower will turn into down this road of gardening for this season, but be sure that I’ll post an update as soon as the transformation happens.. Don’t ya just love gardening… it’s a hoot…   🙂


Until next time

~Laura & her Pup ~

July 12th 2016 - 016

Searching for that 4 Leaf Clover

July 16th 2016 - 011

Wild violets growing around the cedar trees tower over the sprigs of clover just below them. I use to pull up the violets and the clover years ago, until the past few years I’ve let them grow to add to my garden. With all of the dryness around the lawn I figured these wild plants can offer their own special goodness to the soil. The insects flying around are loving the blooms these tiny plants have to offer.

I’m often treated with a lovely surprise when they bloom and this causes me to smile. I can almost feel any stress that I might have had or sadness slipping away, while gazing down at these lovely violets with their leaves adorned in a heart shape just asking to be loved too….

We can’t fight against nature as she will always win when the day is done, and the sky turns dark drawing its curtain on this day. Sweet slumber little violets and clover and know I’ll never pick you out of the ground again.

July 16th 2016 - 001

After a full day of hard rain

When I walked down my deck stairs this morning with my cup of coffee and my pup by my side, I worried about my beautiful poppies and how they fared with all of that rain. This little beauty appeared to be leaning over the barrel waiting for my arrival.. I smiled and wondered if this tiny crate paper little flower could talk just what would it tell me.

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Perhaps, the little flower would tell me of the storm which had passed with torrential rain and very high winds. Would they tell me of a day spent bobbing back and fourth trying so desperately to hang on to their petals, so the next day I could sit in my special place to adore their beauty. This little orange poppy look as if it were shy, or was this flower which is now upright again just doing its best to protect the petals by leaning over so as not to become damaged by the rain….

July 16th 2016 - 006Marigolds from last years saved seeds… I have enough seeds to cover the planet with marigolds….

I had to dig out my jacket for my morning routine in the garden. The gentle breeze drew my attention  away from the poppies toward the peas growing above these newly opened marigold flowers.. These flowers in a few days will become bigger and bigger offering up even more hues of reds and orange. I’m so happy I save so many seeds from this plant last Fall, as this is now my favorite marigold of all time… above the little flower are the peas and they are getting big too…

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I love gathering the peas off the vines, but not before looking over the plant first. Mother nature is a wonderful teacher, isn’t she… the tendrils curl and search for something to latch onto to protect the pea steams from drooping over in a big heap…Once they are anchored this plant can hang on while the winds whip around… So, far there’s only about a dozen or so pea pods on the plant, but lots more flowers to be found…

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There seems to be a few lessons in the garden to be found, if you look closely enough to what’s right there… Survival we know can be difficult, especially when so much turmoil is happening around the world…Sometimes I try not to catch the news on a regular basis, because it saddens me so much to see all of the hardships happening in our world.. Sometimes, I just need to survive and find peace inside and being in my garden gives me this peace, if only for a short time..

I planted another patch for some asparagus to begin to grow, and today I noticed it has sprouted up nicely. I surrounded the seeds when I planted them down in the yard with a dome of chicken wire. I didn’t want my pup while running after the critters who visit the yard to run right across it or the critters and birds perhaps digging up the seeds…

While I was sitting on the Birch Stump taking note of the permaculture beds I noticed my pup resting right next to the asparagus under the dome….(I wish that show was not cancelled ~ Under the Dome) So, of course we needed to take a picture…

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Until next time

My pup and I wish you a special day and evening where ever you are…

~ Laura ~