What a glorious day October 1st 2016 was with its clouds overhead forecasting the rain that was coming our way. I was just a mere 30 minutes away from another sunrise announcing this to be a brand new month, followed by light rain for the evening and following day.
The panorama view of the city and the lake where I live was an interesting view for me this morning. While, at the far left of this picture, just atop one of the cities buildings I could see the pink in the sky just beginning to crest.
Looking up at the clouds as the sky began to lighten, it was like no other. I was by the lake where I’d often go trying to figure out how to be a widow in those early days. I’d buy a coffee at our favorite shop and drive by the lake just to ponder my life. I knew I needed time to figure out my newly given path that I must follow, no matter what my views on it were at the time.
They say disbelief is the first emotion you go through, but I was spared that as I was by his side the entire time from beginning to end. The next emotion was to be anger, but how could I be angry after being given 15 wonderful years as a wife and received the up most gift of two children from this union. The lake here in this picture is my compass, showing me that there are many directions one can choose to take.
I’ve had another loss 5 months ago, losing my older sister to suicide. This is so hard to even begin to put into words as there are so many jumbled up emotions inside of this aging body of mine. As I sit here today 30 minutes away from the next sunrise on this day, October 2nd ~ I hold on to my inner compass even if I never plan to actually travel anywhere.
I am content to work very hard at healing my heart from the many losses I’ve experienced, beginning with my grandfather back in nineteen-hundred-seventy-eight. He taught me something amazing, and yet it contained few words to explain…His actions, caused reactions, which caused thought, leading to understanding of how to just take time to ponder over any situation…
So, yesterday morning I sat sipping my coffee, smiling at the many joyous times spent with my late husband and the conversations I’d had with my older sister over the internet ~ via Face Book, messaging and Skype. She lived in Los Angeles, California where I too was born many moons ago. But, even though we were separated by 2,711 miles from her place to mine, we were as close as if we were right next door to each other…
She often would say how she enjoyed reading about my antics here on Word Press, and for that simple fact I am very thank full to this blog for allowing me the escape to jot down on here my thoughts and pictures I love to take. She was amazed by my garden of hope as I call it and I’m sure she wished she too could have a little space where she could just clear away clutter of each of our days.
Sometimes, there is just too much noise around us, and we need moments just to sit, quietly and watch a sunrise or sunset in peace.
Until next time