I’ve taken a break from working on my illustrations for my short story I want to release in the Fall, or that was the plan in the beginning when I started using the Pen Tablet in harmony with my computer.

But, sometimes you just need to play simply Just Because I Can….

I finished working on a few digital photographs ~ making them smaller in size to put in my blogs, since I do use quite a few pictures I’d run out of free room on this blog in no time at all if I used each one at its full size. I use Photo Shop to help me out with that tasks and one day I just needed to play on there. You see there are so many things this program can do and I’ve not even scratched the surface to what it can show to me.

So, I became a child once again and without thought or a plan I started doodling.

night - 004

I can tell you that I never planned on showing this doodle to anyone and it was going into the trash bin as soon as I was done playing around ~ Yet, smiling all the while….Hum?

I truly believe that every single thing we do has a reason and or purpose in our day. Through the grins I began to wonder just what I was thinking at the time I was drawing this in Photo Shop.

First, my birthday was fast approaching and I was actually very happy about being another year older. Not, for the reasons some of you might guess, but because I’m really loving each new year as it comes around on the calendar.

All of the Hot Flashes are over ~ Thank heavens for that because mine began in my early forties, and lasted well over twelve years. Hum…I see half a red face, neck and some red on the body of this character, yet she’s smiling….

For me the Change of Life was a welcome change of season for my life. Many things were ending and yet many were just beginning too. I pondered over the side of the face that was black…..?

Darkness, was my first thought, until I could see the black was merely a clean slate for which to draw upon.. Such as to say I’m not nearing the end, but rather a new fresh beginning containing as many possibilities as I wish to have.

I know some of you might say, “Ugh…here’s another positive thinker….”

Yes, yes I am and it has taken me many decades to arrive at this destination in life. I’ve fought through many decades of illness, depression, feeling less of a human because I didn’t go out into the world and make a name for myself.

MBLOG - Bed 2013 - resized 30

But, those things were not on my blank slate…I had other plans for this beautiful lifetime I was going to have. Children, were on the top of my list even though I was just dropped off by my dad many many moons ago on my grandparents doorstep at two years old.. He never returned…

That was the beginning challenge I faced, and I can remember all the way back to being two years old watching my daddy walk down the long driveway of my grandparents and jump into a yellow taxi cab ~ Not looking back once…

So, when this positive person is always appearing Jolly and Happy ~ it’s because I’ve lived a hard life, yet determined to make this my life a better one ~ beyond the shit storms that happened.. and there were many….I will always live with depression I found out, but I fight like a boxer to keep my thoughts and views positive.

It’s really a chore some days to keep smiling through the pain life has in store for us, but I look at the pain a lot like childbirth… After, the pain is gone look what you’re left with.. A miracle smiling up at you.

Black & White

Sad & Happy

Night & Day

MBLOG- ARTISTIC 2013

Just to name a few…we can’t have one without the other…All of the colors of the Rainbow or a box of crayons make up my life.. And, I plan on doodling until the end of my days. Either on paper or on my new found friend the Pen Tablet for my computer.

And, of course last but not least, the trees in the pictures below are a symbol of longevity, strength, beauty, comfort from the hot sun, they feed the earths soil, and lastly these beautiful trees all around me keep me positive and strong, yet able to sway when the winds blow hard against the limbs….Like these Cedar trees do…

August 29th 2016 - 005

August 29th 2016 - 004

line break image - 023

38368-Mountain-Bluebird

Until next time

❀

~Laura~

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6 thoughts on “Just because I can ~ Remembering back…

  1. Nothing wrong with a happy doodle at all, as far as I am concerned. Interesting what you read into it though, Laura, and very pertinent too. It has worked well for you to now have a positive attitude, helping to heal all those wounds of the past, and to get on with living your life i the future.
    Keep drawing, keep blogging, stay happy. Enjoy your family, your pet dog, and your garden. They will all see you through anything.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pete, Thank you for your kind and heartwarming comments on my post today. I know you can read between the lines of my post and know I’m still struggling with the loss of my dear sweet sister. I was never going to publish such deep emotions as these to the public, but I feel now that I must share and hope that it does indeed help someone else who might be going through such ordeals, or they too battle with depression themselves. Your comments mean the world to me and the fact that you truly read the words and in between them often. This fact helps me in ways you’ll never know, except for me telling you.

      Take care, Laura πŸ™‚

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  2. Interesting post. I really like that picture πŸ™‚

    When I looked at it, I saw November. Something about the dark sky with the red stars (Samhain followed by the British Bonfire Night) and fir trees (Christmas approaching). The red and the black in the face I saw as a reflection of the same.

    Winter approaches. Yes, it is dark. Yes, it is a clean slate – as much a new beginning as it is an ending. It knows loss. Yet it also nurtures hope.

    Interestingly, for the approach of winter, I also see something youthful about that face. She has learnt to play. In that sense, she is as young as the trees (which point skywards) are old.

    Seems there was some correspondence in our thinking on this one, even though we came at it from different perspectives πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ros, I feel so honored that you wrote so beautifully about the simple, yet complex drawing of a girl among the trees. I’ve been struggling and yet not for the past couple of months. It’s like hot and cold… sweet and tart… Winter always in the beginning is a chore for me, having to give up the gardening that lifts my spirit beyond my own imagination every day.

      The hummingbirds are doing the approaching Fall dance around the feeders as they know it’s a very long flight they much take.

      They know each year to come here and drink until their hearts content, and will let me know when the feeder is empty.. by coming to the patio door. I talk to them while out there and they flutter very close to my face, I just hope that one day they don’t poke me when flying up too close..

      This is a magical time of year for the wildlife as they prepare for Fall and Winter…

      Take care my dear and Thank you so much again for your comments.. I love when people read between the lines so to speak and really understand me through art, or words…

      We really do get each other, quite well…

      Hugs from Laura πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

    1. misskrissyinthecity, Thank you for your comments and your support. This means the world to me to know I’m not walking this path alone and others are out there to walk along with me when needed.. hugs to you my dear… Laura

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